Just thinking…

I am just thinking here… Have you ever got to a point in your life where you realize who you are is totally fighting who you want to become and what you want to achieve? I have been enlightened on this topic this evening.

Are you someone who can keep a promise to everyone but your self? Are you able to keep plans with all our friends, and even be early for those plans, but cannot even get out of bed when you make plans that involve just you? It is like you are saying (with your actions) that the plans you make with yourself are not important. This is one struggle I face every day; how much am I going to let myself down today? What am I going to avoid?

I find that I am willing to run myself down to nothing to meet the demands of others, then by the time I have time for me and what I want to do there is nothing left. Am I the only one? Hello…?

I have heard that the number one obstacle in one’s life is themself. I believe it. I am proof of it. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I want to see, so many people I want to help, but because these are things I want to do they get pushed to the side. Why? It is the things that are important to my life that should take priority, need to take priority, but don’t, time and time again… Each day I want to get out of bed with out pushing the snooze button (more than once) and charge at the day with passion and purpose! I want to not find activities that take me off task. I want to live up to the expectations I know I can achieve. I know I have it in me… somewhere…

Last night was Valentine’s Day, and as I sat on my couch watching chick-flicks after dinner I realized that I tend to live my goals and dreams through the influences around me: friends, movies, TV, music. This makes me the one thing I most dislike about other people; I am a hypocrite. On one hand, I challenge people to be the “Leading (Wo)Man” in their life, but yet on the other, I struggle with the very same concept, daily.

I do not know how to actually change this habit, and actually prioritize my life according to me, in such a way that I get to the place where I get as good at meeting my expectations as I am at meeting the expectations of those around me…

I would love to hear any ideas you may have on this subject. What helps you treat yourself with the respect you give to others, when you are alone?

There… that is me “Just Thinking”….