After some time off from regular every-day life I have come to the conclusion that for me to grow God needs to take me apart to rebuild me up from the beginning… this song is powerful, and thought provoking…
It has been hard to realize I am not perfect. (no, it is true!) It is in His weakness that we are made strong. The hardest thing for most people to do is give up the control of their weakness to someone else, especially to a God who is not tangible. Our pride can, and will, get in the way. In my experiences it has been in the moments I feel the weakest that I become the strongest, when I give it to God to take care of. It is hard to describe, unless you have experienced this for yourself.
I am quite independent, almost to a fault. I have a very hard time asking for help. It may be one of the reasons I am still single; I do not make myself vulnerable enough. Which is why I also find it hard to give my life, the pieces I believe I am in control of, to someone who has my best interests at heart: God.
Some people see asking for help as a weakness, or even to be a shameful act. Growing up I was made to feel this way when I would ask people for rides, when I didn’t have one. To this day I try to find my own way of getting to where I am going, before asking someone to come pick me up. I have been taught, from an early age, to be independent. In most cases it can be a great skill set to have, but when I truly need help it is very hard to ask for help. This, translated to my relationship with God, makes it difficult for me, a lot of the time, to ask God for his help, even though I know it IS the best resource I have.
Have you ever started an activity where you were very close to presenting the final product and realised there was a flaw at the beginning of the project and you had to take the almost completed project and strip it to the very beginning to correct the problem? Once you did this two things happened, firstly you were going to be very aware of the construction of the project at every stage so you didn’t have to start again. Secondly, by going back to the very first cog in the process you are able to establish a very solid foundation for the, soon to be, finished project. This is what happens when we allow God to take our whole world apart, and let Him rebuild it for us.
I know that I have mentioned that we cannot let other people control our lives; it is ours, not theirs. Allowing Christ to control one’s life is not the same; our lives are His. Our life was created for him to be a part of every decision we make. It is our (selfish) human nature that separates us from Him. The trick is, as humans, to figure out (for ourselves, as each of us have a different relationship with Christ) how to master this skill; having God place his two-cents into everything we do. I do not know the answer for this. I am still trying to figure this one out myself. I do know it is the secret to a completely whole, and fulfilling life, and it is a daily struggle, but one I believe you cannot give up on.
I challenge you to trust God enough to take your world apart and then the two of you can start rebuilding it together. You will not be sorry you made the decision to do so!
Listen to the song linked to this post. The lyrics are below, and on the music page for you to follow along and contemplate.
THE CHALLENGE: To be as vulnerable as you can be with God. Have a conversation with Him. Give him all you worries, cares, and concerns. You can even get mad at him directly; He can take it. Allow your soul to feel helpless. Then ask for His strength and wisdom to fill the void that was just created. Finally, thank him for being exactly who he says he is. Then take a deep breath and move forward with your life with God as the Editor-in-Chief of your autobiography.
LYRICS:
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and dieTo turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you – take my world apart
To need you – I am on my knees
To love you – take my world apart
To need you – broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
[Additional lyrics:]
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can’t deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
A Woman of Proverbs 31 